If you ask expat families in Bangkok about their nanny or maid experience, you'll hear the same stories again and again — and most of them end with *"I wish someone had told me earlier."* The good news: almost every common problem is preventable, and none of the fixes are complicated.
Here are the 10 mistakes we see most often, and exactly how to avoid each one. If you're just starting out, read this alongside our step-by-step hiring guide.
Mistake 1: Starting with nothing on paper
A verbal agreement feels friendly — until memories differ about what was promised. "You said Saturdays were included." "No, I said *occasional* Saturdays." With nothing written down, there's no way to settle it kindly, and both sides walk away feeling wronged.
How to avoid it: Whether you sign a full employment contract is up to you and your staff to decide together — arrangements vary from family to family. But at a minimum, put the essentials on paper and each keep a copy: duties, working hours, salary and payday, days off, and how holidays work. One page is enough. And if you'd prefer a proper employment contract, HelloNanny can prepare one for you.
Mistake 2: Deciding the salary without checking the market
Offer too little and good candidates quietly disappear. Offer far above market without realizing it and you've set a precedent that's hard to adjust later.
How to avoid it: - Check current Bangkok rates before you make an offer — our 2026 salary guide breaks them down by role and experience. As a rough anchor, live-out nannies in Bangkok typically earn around 15,000–25,000 THB/month depending on experience and duties. - Decide your total budget *including* holiday pay and an annual bonus custom (see Mistake 7) so there are no surprises later.
Mistake 3: Not putting everything on the table at the first interview
The classic version: the family mentions two kids at the interview, and only later adds "actually, we also need weekend help, and grandma lives with us." Each surprise chips away at trust — and sometimes triggers a resignation.
How to avoid it: - Before interviewing, write three lists: *must-haves*, *nice-to-haves*, and *absolute no-gos*. - At the interview, share the full picture honestly: family size, home setup, pets, working hours, weekend expectations. - For how to run the interviews themselves — video call first, then in person — see our step-by-step hiring guide.
Mistake 4: Skipping the trial period
Promising a long-term arrangement from day one sounds generous, but if the fit isn't right, both sides end up stuck in an awkward situation that's hard to unwind.
How to avoid it: - Agree on a 1–3 month trial period, and include it in the written terms you both keep (see Mistake 1). - Make it explicit that during the trial, either side can end the arrangement with short notice — no hard feelings. - Use the trial to check the things an interview can't show: punctuality, how they play with your kids, how they communicate when something goes wrong.
Mistake 5: Leaving the duties vague
"Please take care of the house" means completely different things to different people. The result: you're quietly frustrated that the windows never get cleaned; she's quietly frustrated that you keep adding tasks that were never discussed.
How to avoid it: - Write an actual task list: cooking (which meals?), laundry (including ironing?), cleaning (which rooms, how often?), school pick-up, bath time. - Just as important, agree on what's *not* included. Adding tasks later is a renegotiation, not an assumption.
Mistake 6: Underestimating the language barrier
"She speaks English" often means conversational English — which is not the same as understanding "please sterilize the bottles after the 2pm feed, but only the glass ones." Misunderstandings here aren't anyone's fault; they're a planning gap.
How to avoid it: - Agree on a translation workflow from day one — Google Translate on the kitchen tablet works fine for most families. - Put important instructions in writing (or pictures) rather than relying on spoken requests. - Learn a handful of Thai basics — even a little effort changes the relationship. - For how to *actually test* English level before hiring, see our agency guide's language section.
Mistake 7: Not agreeing on holidays and days off upfront
Thailand has its own rhythm of public holidays — Songkran alone reshapes April. Families who never discuss holidays end up negotiating them one by one, every single time, which is exhausting for everyone.
How to avoid it: - Hand over a Thai public holiday calendar at the start and mark which days are off. - Agree in advance what happens if you ask her to work on a holiday (extra pay is both the law and the custom — see Mistake 8). - Plan early for Songkran and New Year, when many staff travel to their home provinces.
Mistake 8: Assuming Thai labour law doesn't apply to household staff
Many families assume hiring a nanny or maid is a purely private arrangement. In fact, Thailand extended significant legal protections to domestic workers in 2024, and employers are expected to follow them.
The key points (as of 2026): - Minimum wage applies to domestic workers (in Bangkok, roughly 372 THB/day). - Working hours are capped at 8 hours/day with a rest break, and staff are entitled to at least one day off per week. - 13 paid public holidays per year, paid sick leave (up to 30 days/year), and 6 days of paid annual leave after one year of service. - Working on a public holiday requires extra pay. - One common misconception in the other direction: domestic workers are generally *not* covered by Thailand's mandatory social security scheme — so you won't register them with the SSO the way a company registers office employees.
*Laws change and individual situations vary — treat this as orientation, not legal advice, and confirm current rules with a professional for your specific case.*
Mistake 9: Never setting privacy ground rules
With live-in staff especially, unspoken assumptions cause quiet discomfort on both sides: which rooms are private, which shelves are off-limits, whether the home office door being closed means "do not enter."
How to avoid it: - Walk through the house together on day one and say out loud which spaces are private. - Set the rules for phones and photos — most families ask that no photos of the children be posted anywhere. - Give your nanny genuinely private space too. Privacy that goes both ways builds trust much faster.
Mistake 10: Avoiding feedback until it's too late
Many expat families hold back honest feedback — "maybe it's a cultural thing," "I don't want to be rude" — until small irritations have compounded into a broken relationship. Meanwhile, your nanny may have her own concerns she's been too polite to raise.
How to avoid it: - Set up a short monthly check-in from the very beginning, so feedback is a routine, not an event. - Lead with what's going well, then raise one or two specific requests — small, concrete, kind. - Ask for her side too: what's working, what's difficult, what she needs from you. - For the long game, our guide on building trust and longevity goes deeper.
The pattern behind all 10 mistakes
Look back at the list and you'll notice every single mistake is a version of the same thing: something important was left unsaid. The families who have great long-term relationships with their nannies aren't luckier — they simply put things in writing, talk about money and holidays before they become issues, and give feedback while it's still small.
If you'd like support getting this right from the start — from realistic budgets to what to cover before day one — talk to HelloNanny for free. We help expat families in Bangkok set up arrangements that actually last.
